"You shall not commit adultery” (Exodus 20:14).
This commandment is an interesting paradox. Moralistic religion that led to Puritanism and Victorianism gave rise to prudery so severe that the word adultery could not be used in polite company. The commandment was rarely if ever discussed, and then only in whispers. In the period in which many of us grew up, even the word sex was a naughty word.
How this has all changed in the past thirty years! Today there is more of a tendency to “tell it like it is,“ even if what is is not particularly uplifting. There are those who say that this indicates an increase in immorality in our day. However, it may mean only that there is a decrease in hypocrisy. People may not be any less moral today . . . only more honest.
Turning from an attitude that has been irrational, prejudiced, and blind, we have been helped by the work of Kinsey and Masters and Johnson and others to discover some aspects of human behavior that have long lurked in the shadows. Pious preachments about sin and immorality will serve little purpose other than to close the blinds again. Perhaps we need to face the fact that "keeping" the seventh commandment has failed miserably. Now we must break it down into its spiritual fundamentals. It is not morality that is required, but an understanding of metamorality.
Words are an interesting study. For instance: adult and adulterate have nothing in common other than their sound. One person said, "Adultery is an adult playing around." It is a logical conclusion, but an erroneous one. The word adult is from the Latin past participle of adolescere, meaning to grow up. Adulterate, on the other hand, means to pollute or to add something other. Our word adultery comes from the second word, not the first. One might logically assume, again in error, that even as infancy is the normal state for the infant, so adultery is the normal state for the adult.
From its Hebrew root, adultery means "a total or complete abandoning of one's principles." The word is made up on the word ad, meaning "to add" . . . and the word ulter, meaning "other." It means "to add other" or to dilute by adding something else to a substance. There was a time not too long ago, before the kind of federal controls that have evolved to protect the consumer, that dairies would unscrupulously add water to milk to make it go further. Grocers were not above putting sand in the sugar, rocks in the beans, and water in the vinegar. Adulterate means to add something that cheapens the quality or upsets the completeness.
Literally adultery usually refers to sex relations outside of marriage. Judgments are made, based on moral codes and values that change with ages and cultures. For instance, a young girl said, “Sex is a perfectly natural activity, like eating or sleeping. Why should we treat it in any other way? Why all the taboos and prudery?" Of .course, she is reacting to the rigid morals of her grandmother, who was probably wrong, for purity is not the same thing as prudery. Purity is a matter of consciousness. Prudery_is simply a moralistic hangup. The prude may also have a strong sexual desire that is being repressed.
But the young girl is also wrong. For sex is not a thing . . . but simply a way in which a person may express. If we deal with sex as a thing, we reduce ourselves to the level of animals. In its purest sense, adultery is not what two people do wrongly together, but what we do (destructively to ourselves. We lose our sense of integrity.
Persons in or out of marriage who engage in "sex without love" are prostituting themselves, adulterating their true worth as persons. They are selling themselves short on the real meaning of life, which can be found only in the total communion of man and woman in the fullness of inner-centered love.
"Today there is a continuing discussion on the question of 'open marriage' and marriages where there is a commitment without the license. Of course, under the old moral code such relationships are condemned out of hand. However, even if it were agreed that such behavior is immoral, may it not be less moral for married persons to live together for sex, or out of obligation to the chidren, or by reason of society's taboo on divorce? In whatever way we view morality, is it not moral to be honest and immoral to lie? If two people are honest with themselves and each other in that they do not want the legal responsibilities of marriage, should they be considered less moral than two people who are living a lie in a marital facade behind which there is a phychological and spiritual separation?" (Eric Butterworth, Life Is For Living, New York, Harper & Row, 1973, p. 50)
Let us go beyond the implications of morality to the insights of metamorality, beyond the narrow codes of religion to the "new insight in Truth." This seventh commandment articulates a law that is beautiful and wonderful. It is a tragedy that it has been so neglected and misunderstood. The emphasis has always been placed on the sin or the physical acts .and personal relationships. The sin is not in the act, but in th^ioughLthat leads to the act, and the adulteration of pure thought implied.
Jesus had little patience with the old traditions that were so filled with prejudices and hypocrisy. He shattered this commandment into its minute components, again leaving no room to hide. And as a result He lifted the "You shall not commit adultery" law out of the purely prudish and moralistic frame in which the pious Pharisees could condemn and stone to death persons caught up in the web of human emotions. He said: "You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery.' But I say to you that every one who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart" (Matthew 5:28
This lifts the commandment to the level of divine law . . . the law of consciousness. Traditionally, religion has emphasized moral codes for conduct, and judgments on immoral acts. There is no denying that the seventh commandment has application on this level. But more significantly, the act of adultery involves a weakening or adulteration of one's own self-worth. And it may be applied in a much broader sense as dealing with the adulteration of Truth in the many unthinking ways.
It could be said, for instance, that Judas was an adulterer because he did not see the spiritual depth in Jesus. He confused the Christ idea with temporal authority and material rewards. Of course, Judas was not alone in this. Few of the disciples saw much deeper than Judas, as evidenced by their swift disappearance in Jesus' time of great need. Peter had that one radiant moment when he cried out: "You are the Christ, the Son of the living God" (Matthew 16:16). However, he was soon back in adultery as he denied three times that he had even heard of the man, Jesus.
Whenever we see less than the Christ in another or in ourselves, we commit adultery. Does this surprise you? Again, there is no place to hide. For who of us sees the divine depth in people, all people, all the time? Does anyone? How often we adulterate the Truth in our thoughts about conditions or circumstances. We fail to see the allness of God, to know that the Lord God is One. We break the first as well as the seventh commandment.
No wonder Jesus said to those who were about to stone the woman “taken in adultery": "Let him who is without sin among you he the first to throw a stone at her" (John 8:7). We may have thought that He was intimating that they were all having extramarital affairs. It is said that Jesus bent down and wrote with his finger on the ground. Some have speculated that the writing contained clues of secret trysts involving the Pharisee-accusers which He knew by some psychic power. It could be. But it seems much more likely that Jesus was referring to the sins of the mind. In other words. He might have been saying, "If any of you is free from the sin of adulteration of Truth, of not seeing the best in people, let him stand up and administer the punishment to this unfortunate woman." With that criteria, who could throw a stone? Even if one of the accusers were free of mental sin up to that moment, by his act of accusation he was committing adultery right then.
The commandment is broad in its application to human thought. "You shall not commit adultery." You shall not adulterate reality by judging by appearances, and thus by adding on something other than the Truth. You shall not pollute that which is pure and holy by seeing in a mirror darkly. It is a large order. But then, it is law and not caprice that we are dealing with. It may seem to be an impossible restraint to be told, "Don't short-circuit the wires" or "Don't lean too far over the precipice." The child may think so. However, as adults, we know that the prohibition is in our own best interest.
When there is a greater awareness of the law of consciousness more and more people will be turned off by preachers or politicians who agonize over the decadence of modern society We have been told for too long how sinful and perverse we are, and how our society is on the road to perdition. The world needs leaders who will begin with the principle, "The Lord our God is one Lord," and who will encourage people by their optimism and faith to release their "imprisoned splendor," and thus collectively to bring about the "kingdom on earth as it is in heaven."
A few years ago a radio preacher was heard delivering an emotional sermon on the evils of dancing. He gave a long and lurid description of all the obscene things that were going on in the minds of the two people who were holding their bodies together on the dance floor. It was not enough that he was revealing the filthy state of his own mind, but he was polluting the airwaves with his adulterous rhetoric.
There is an Islamic legend about a man who had two sons. One of the sons was very pious, arising early every morning for his devotions, while the other brother slept on. One morning the pious one complained to his father that his brother was lost in irreligious slumber while he faithfully kept the spirit of the Koran. The father wisely replied, "Son of my soul, it would be better to remain in sleep than to awake to behold the faults of others." For this finding of fault is adultery.
THe word commit of the commandment brings the matter of adultery right back squarely where it belongs, in the context of one's own actions. It literally means to send forth. It is something that takes place in the mind, as an attitude, a perception, a motivation, and then goes forth into some form of action. When the attitude is negative and narrow, the action will be limited and self-destructive. The ideal, of course, is found in Psalms 37: Commit your way to the Lord; trust in him, and he will act. Commit yourself to Truth, send it forth in words of power, and you will be in the flow of the divine creative process. He will act.
In a very real sense you adulterate yourself whenever you tell a half-truth, or stretch the truth in exaggeration. To say something about yourself or about another that is less than true morally, or even spiritually, is committing adultery. If you (sell yourself short out of feelings of inferiority or for ulterior motives, you commit adultery. The word ulterior is interesting. It comes from the same root a adultery. If a person says one thing but intends another thing, we say he has an ulterior motive. This literally means an ulter or other motive. He adds ulter to the situation, which is the exact meaning of adultery.
An understatement also adulterates. How many persons are guilty of the self-put-down? Someone may ask about your performance at work or on the stage, "How did you do?" If you say "Oh, all right" or "Not very well" when you know you did very well, you are committing adultery. False humility is self-abasement. It is demeaning and adulterous.
A commonly used phrase today is "If you have it, flaunt it." It may come from ostentation or egotism, but the principle is valid. The word flaunt refers to that which comes out of the flow. We tend, however, to call attention to that which bubbles forth as being of our own doing, rather than as the divine creative process that is flowing through us. It is true, if you have it, "flow with if." Rejoice in it. Be proud of it. Accept it in the sense of affirming your self-worth.
And then if someone praises you for your performance, "That was magnificent!"—instead of demurring, "Oh, it wasn't anything," you can say, "Yes, it was good, wasn't it?" For you know that it came out of the flow, and you do not want to dilute it.
In other words, do not exaggerate when talking about yourself. But at the same time, do not minimize or belittle your abilities and achievements. When you catch the spirit of the third commandment, you will know that you have an obligation to call yourself by the name of the Lord. Then you will speak the Truth to and about yourself at all times. Anything less than the Truth of our oneness in the One is adultery.
If you speak words of Truth irTprayer or in treatment, then later say "I sure hope it works!" and then go back to worrying, you are committing adultery. If you pray with "vain repetitions" or nagging affirmations or treatments after you have once made your commitment to a realization of Truth, you are committing adultery. Jesus said: "In your prayers do not go babbling on like the heathen, who imagine that the more they say the more likely they are to be heard" (Matthew 6:7, 8, N.E.B.). Speak the word of Truth! Then let go. If you take hold of the problem again in fear and anxiety, there is evident disregard for the principle, a lack of trust in God, the One. This is committing adultery. Know the Truth about a person, an experience, a thing, or a condition, and then say, "Amen!" Stop going over it again and again, trying to recreate the idea, to rephrase and revitalize the words you have formulated, begging, pleading, supplicating God for answers that are already yours in Mind. For this is committing adultery.
Make a new commitment to the flow of good. Determine that you will no longer pollute the atmosphere with negatives. "Commit your way unto the Lord." The Lord means the I AM. Send forth your I AM power, "trust in him, and he will act." Great manifestations of good will follow.
You always have a choice: Commit your way unto the Lord . . . or commit adultery. Which shall it be? You will be faced with this dilemma scores of times every day of your life. Make the commitment to keep your thoughts on the high level of Truth. Whatever is true . . . . honorable . . . just . . . pure . . . lovely . . . gracious . . . think about these things (Philippians 4:8). Send forth I AM power in positive words and actions . . . or you will pollute your mind, body, and affairs with habit patterns of inferiority, animosity, and negation.
Make this commitment, and often: I will no longer commit adultery. I will not add other limiting aspects to the Truth. I will judge righteous judgment instead of judging by appearances. I will keep the purity of my consciousness through speaking and acting on positive ideas and creative images. And I have faith that this integrity of consciousness will lead me to integrity in all my relations and affairs.
© 1987, Unity Books
Reprinted with permission.
