An aura or atmosphere of love, a loving nature that seeks out the good in all persons, sends forth a magnetic power that can’t be duplicated in any other way. It literally attracts other persons to it. It influences without words. It dominates, even where others are trying to force their way with a strong-willed personality. It is a miracle power in itself.
If you would become more attractive to other people, don’t limit yourself by concentrating only on clothing, cosmetics and conversation pieces. Rather, build within yourself an influence that is magnetic, mighty to attract others to you. Learn to love. Love first. Love the good in all persons. You don’t have to like what they do, and you won’t, in many cases, but you can always find some good to love. You can, when you are willing to look. And willingness to search out good in all persons is a very important part of learning to love.
Some people, in the name of love, search out sterling qualities of worth only in certain persons and turn the experienced eye of condemnation and criticism on all others. I even knew a woman who continued to hate certain persons because her late husband had had quarrels with them. She considered it an expression of love for him to carry on his conflicts.
The love that will bring the millennium does not limit itself in such a way. It loves because it is its nature to love, and it finds good everywhere because it is the nature of love to search out the good. And this is the love that builds and attracts in the realm of human relationships. This is the love that lasts.
Would you like to be divinely irresistible? I knew a woman who was, and she gave a formula for attaining this particular expression of miracle power.
May Rowland, for many years the head of Unity’s worldwide prayer headquarters, Silent Unity, at Unity Village, Missouri, was one of the most loved and loving persons I have ever known. She put the law of irresistibility in these few words:
“When your heart is filled with love, you will not be critical or irritable, but you will be divinely irresistible.”
As she said the words, you could feel their power, because she believed them, and she lived them.
In the years that I knew May Rowland, I never heard her criticize. I never saw her become angry or even irritable. When she was with other persons who expressed even a slightly negative attitude, she seemed to have the power to harmonize, to speak a good word and to dissolve any friction with love. Truly there is something irresistible about the power of God’s love.
The urge to criticize someone is frequently rooted in an attempt to justify yourself, or perhaps in a basic dissatisfaction with your own life. Sometimes it is based on fear or a feeling that someone can take your good away from you.
But a critical attitude and even the need to lash out at someone else can be dissolved. It can be dissolved in the love that seeks out good everywhere and emphasizes that, rather than the error.
You don’t lose anything when you sacrifice criticism to divine love. You just clear the atmosphere for more constructive purposes.
“When your heart is filled with love, you will not be critical or irritable, but you will be divinely irresistible.”
Would you like to be divinely irresistible? Then do it. Be it. Learn to love. But first, learn how to love.
Perhaps you need to convince yourself that it is possible to learn to love good and to get rid of the unpleasant habit of constant criticism and condemnation. Maybe you have even felt that you were being constructive by mentally tearing down the efforts of others.
If so, then take this thought and give it your concentrated attention. Mentally reinforce your desire to become that divinely irresistible person you can visualize in your mind.
Say to yourself, “I love everybody and everything. I search out good in all of my world. I do not have time to be critical, irritable or impatient. I am divinely irresistible.”
Perhaps, the first time you say it, you may feel that the whole idea is ridiculous, that you are neither loving nor kind, and you have rather enjoyed searching out the error in others’ lives. But stick with the thought. Consider it from all angles. Visualize yourself taking a new hold on life by learning to love. Take one particular person in your mind, and search out some good thing about him or her. Then erase critical thoughts as you recall something in his favor.
On one occasion, as a part of my job, I had to come in contact with a man who was increasingly unpleasant, not just to me, but to everyone. Finally, I realized that, for my own peace of mind, I had to discover something good about him.
It wasn’t easy. As I thought about it, it seemed that he was determined to be unpleasant about everything. Then it came to me. At least he was good to his family. Whenever a job opened up, he hired a brother or a sister or some other member of his family, whether they were qualified to do the job or not.
When I thought of this, I could laugh about the situation, and that broke my personal tension about it. So the man no longer disturbed me.
Even in the most unlikely situations, there is some good, and when you search, you can find it and bring it out. Do it, for your own sake.
Now relax and consider this thought again, “I love everybody and everything. I do not have time to be critical, irritable or impatient. I am divinely irresistible.”
Claiming it will make it so. Stop fighting life, and let your heart be filled with love. Deny every inclination to be critical, irritable or impatient. Stop these thoughts when they arise. They may have come almost automatically in the past, but you can learn to catch them and stop them before they go very far.
Go back to the principle of irresistibility, and let yourself become divinely magnetic. Love doesn’t originate in you. It comes to and through you from God. Open yourself and let it flow in to heal, to magnetize, to make you divinely irresistible!
Flaws in the Masterpiece
Here is another method of thinking that will help you to overcome the tendency to criticize, that will enable you to become that magnet for love, joy and happy, harmonious relationships.
Remember that a flaw does not necessarily destroy the value of an item (or a person). In many cases it enhances the value.
Consider the stamp collector who avidly searches for a sheet of stamps with one imprint upside down, because the rarity of its defect gives it great value.
Literary masterpieces have not been rejected because of certain flaws. The classic novel, Miguel Cervantes’ “Don Quijote,” is considered the greatest of the “novelas de caballerias” in Spanish literature, the climax of a period. And yet Spanish literature teachers point out three glaring mistakes in the second part.
Great paintings have been recognized as masterpieces and hung in the finest art galleries, even though they had errors that were easily seen.
Why, then, should you allow the flaws you find in other persons to spoil the picture for you? Why should you let thoughts of criticism keep you from being divinely irresistible?
Each person is a masterpiece, a special and unique piece of the Master’s art. And yet, if you search closely, you will always find some flaw, some way in which that person fails to fulfill the finest and best of which he is capable. Sometimes the flaw, once discovered, looms so large that you fail to recognize the masterpiece of God’s handiwork.
In a sense, every person is a miracle, a production that is above and beyond human understanding. Consider the intricacy of the body, the depths of the mind, the abilities of the spirit. Truly here is a masterpiece that should be recognized and appreciated!
Even flaws don’t have to decrease your ability to love and appreciate others. They may add to the value.
When you see a particular person with the eyes of love and notice some small flaw of facial contour, you may love even the flaw for being a part of that person’s uniqueness. You may love the individual more for being less than perfect.
But what of those defects that you don’t like in others? A tendency to quarrel or become disagreeable, stinginess that seems petty and unattractive?
In such a case, stop looking at the flaw and recognize that, no matter how many things you may discover that are wrong, the individual himself is still a masterpiece, a miracle of God’s art.
When you consider the unique qualities of each person, the potentiality that each one has, you can begin to see the value that is there. And you can begin to love.
In Unity we sometimes use a silent salutation to the God self, the potential masterpiece, in every person. It goes like this, “I behold the Christ in you.” Translated, it means, “I see the seed of perfection in you.”
When you begin to look for, and recognize, the good in others, you will find that flaws are small when compared with the masterpiece that is the real person. You will find it easier to love than to criticize. And when you do, you will be on your way to becoming divinely irresistible.
Love Teaches Itself
Can you see yourself moving through life with a smile on your face, love in your heart, your whole atmosphere charged with “people appeal”?
If you can envision this person, you can become that one!
The more you can picture yourself as being loving and kind, the more you will be loving and kind, because your thoughts and feelings express those strong pictures that you hold in your mind.
There is a principle of learning that applies to love. It is this:
Love is its own teacher. A deep down desire to love more opens the way for an increased expression of love power.
Henry Drummond, a remarkable man and a very popular writer and lecturer of the last century, had a formula for changing your life through love.
He said that if anyone would read the thirteenth chapter of First Corinthians, the Bible’s great dissertation on love, every day for thirty days, it would change his life from then on.
Love is its own teacher, and a month-long concentration on love, what it is like, what it does, what it can do and what qualities it expresses, has to have a profound, lasting effect. You can never concentrate on learning to love and desiring to love over any period of time without having something happen inside of you. You are never quite the same person again.
Besides, the chapter from Corinthians has within it some ideas that are essential in understanding what love is all about. Consider patience, kindness and modesty. These three ideas alone provide much material for thought.
Love is not just a happy face that you wear on the surface. It is a deep-down realization that includes many other qualities.
I believe that Drummond had practiced his own suggestion, and this was one of the secrets of his success. Probably it was at this time in his life that he wrote a short piece, usually published in booklet form, called “The Greatest Thing in the World.”
This is one of the most enlightening works on this Bible passage ever written, and it is just as popular today as it was in 1890.
Drummond wrote a number of books, some of which were best sellers in his day, but he is best known today because he wrote a short manuscript on love.
Even a manuscript that bears the imprint of a strong concentration on love carries its own magnetic power, its own “people appeal.”
Your deisre to know more of love, to awaken this power to a greater degree in your life, not only increases your understanding of this subject. It also develops your working knowledge of love, because the more you concentrate on the idea of loving, and the more you desire to become the magnetic person who expresses love from a deep inner conviction, the more you will put love to work in your life. The knowledge of love isn’t yours until you have used it. And once you become really interested in employing the miracle power of love, you have to do it. You must love.
How Do You Love?
How do you love? The way that is right for you will be revealed as you search. It will not be a limited personal attachment. At least, it won’t be if you truly want to expand your love power to the fullest expression in your life. It will be something that gives you a broader basis for love than you have ever realized, understood or expressed before. You will love more people in an impersonal, joyous way, without personal attachment. And it will not be a love that looks for a specific return from others.
Kindness has been described as “love active.” Perhaps there is a way in which you can be kinder, not just to those who love you, but to others who may need your kindness especially at this time.
Pehaps your new adventure in loving will be in the area of prayer. Remember our worldwide experiment in love, when people all over the world were asked to stop at a certain time each day and simply concentrate on God’s love, seeing the rays of His love encircling the globe. The work hasn’t all been done yet. We are only beginning to explore the possibilities of love and prayer. Perhaps it is there that your next project in loving will be.
Love can be simply a feeling of good will toward all people. The Christmas Spirit, the feeling of joy and goodwill that accompanies holiday shopping and gift giving, is an expression of love. But why wait for Christmas? Why not express “peace on earth, good will toward men” right now, today, where you are?
There are many ways in which you can learn the great art of loving. The lesson that you need at this particular time will be revealed to you by love’s teacher within when you desire to learn, when you leave the way open for the guidance to come, when you are seeking the fulfillment of order and purpose in your life.
Don’t try to force love. Don’t try to make it work. Just quietly think about love, “good will toward men,” kindness and whatever other application of impersonal love that comes, and you will know how to apply your working knowledge of love at this time, and how to let it grow into the power that will make you divinely irresistible.
Remember that this is not love in the sense of a personal attachment. It is a sense of identification with good everywhere, the deep-down awareness that you are part of something wonderful, appreciation of God in others, and the longing to do your part to bring a blessing to your expanding universe.
Love’s Attracting Power
Don’t make the mistake of applying just a little love to your life, and then looking around for the return of love from others. The return will take care of itself, many times in ways that are beyond your human ability to plan and anticipate. So leave the return to God, through the working of miracle power.
Don’t waste your time wondering why others don’t immediately flock to your door or appreciate your good works. Just let love build its own power within you, use this power in the constructive way that love shows you, and release it, knowing that its work is done in your life.
Don’t be disappointed if you don’t see outer results at once, if other people don’t immediately change in the way that you would like to see them change. And never, never argue with others about the power of love or the way you approach life and living from an awareness of oneness with your universe and others in it.
Continue to build love within yourself. Continue to search out and experience the sense of well being, peace and poise that comes from identifying with the good in your world and the potential of good in yourself and in all other persons.
You may not approve of things that you see others doing. You may not believe that they are taking the right track for their highest good. But you won’t influence them by trying to force your will on them. You will only alienate them further. And even more important, you can’t experience a loving feeling within yourself, while you are trying to convince someone else that his way is wrong and your way is right.
Love does not forcel It does not push. It builds and magnetizes.
You will never receive a return of love or even gratitude from other persons by demanding. You must attract love and gratitude by being the person you are designed to be, loving, kind, thoughtful of others, at all times and under all circumstances. You cannot do this if you are disturbed inside over someone’s ingratitude or an absence of return for some good you have done.
This is the principle of attraction:
A return of love from others cannot be forced. It can only be attracted.
This principle works most effectively when you are able to completely forget about the return and just love, pour out a sense of good will toward others, a faith in their potential of greater good than they have yet expressed, and let it go. It will be even more effective if you do it all in silence, and in a relaxed, happy frame of mind.
The moment you become tense and anxious, concerned about what you are to receive, disturbed about someone who doesn’t appreciate you, you turn off the radiance, the divine irresistibility that love is when it simply shines clearly and easily through you.
“But,” you say, “shouldn’t I expect some appreciation for what I do for others?”
“Should I Expect Appreciation?”
Why do you do some loving, thoughtful thing, make some appreciative remark, express faith in another’s ability to succeed? Do you do it for love? Or do you do it for the return?
It’s easy to make yourself miserable, remembering the things you have done for others, and their seeming lack of appreciation or even acknowledgement.
You can make yourself even more miserable by trying to demand gratitude from others, reminding them of what you have done, and endeavoring to make them love you for it.
Love does not appear on demand. It can only be invited. There’s only one real way to receive gratitude and love from others, and that is by attracting it. You’ll find something else, too, as you learn to do the kind thing for love, rather than a return. The return, when it comes, is not all-important after all. It is simply a part of your wonderful joy in living, which increases daily as you love.
One who tries to exert a strong hold over others by force or by arousing fear or even by demanding a return for the good he does may rule for awhile, but he will not do it in joy. And he will not attract love. Love only comes when the way is opened for its power to express by the freeing sense of relaxation that releases it to enrich the universe and all who are receptive to its blessing.
This is the divine way of love and gratitude, and it is the only method that really works. Gratitude that is forced as a duty is only an empty platitude. Thanksgiving that is spontaneous, based in love, is a living, growing thing, a blessing to all it contacts.
There is only one reason that is justification for giving, helping or doing little thoughtful things, and that is your motivation of love and a desire to share.
When you give, give freely, in love, and forget the gift. When you do something nice for somebody, do it because it is a privilege to express love. And then let go of any strings you may have attached to your gift or your act. Love carries its own “people appeal.” Trust it, and go on to the next business of the day.
One good way to develop a healthy thought about giving to others and doing those little kind things that mean so much is to do all things as unto God. Give as though you were giving to God, in a spirit of your own love and gratitude for all the wonderful gifts He has given you. Give from the depths of love in your own being, and then let it go.
Can anything you, a human being, can do for another, equal all that God has done for you? Of course not.
So do the good that love directs you to do from the teacher within, release it in love, and let the return that comes be a welcome and enjoyable surprise.
Love builds its own “people appeal,” and it does it best when you let the return take care of itself.
© 1986, Winifred Wilkinson Hausmann
All rights reserved by the author.
Reprinted with permission.