Ego is the guardian of humans' individuality - that is, their indivisibility - and, says Erikson, "the inner 'organ' which makes it possible for man to bind together the two great evolutionary developments, his inner life and his social planning." A well-formed ego gives us a sense of wholeness, a sense of centrality in time and space and a sense of freedom of choice. Once again, in Erikson's words, "The ego ... permits [man] a measure of human balance."

Ego can go astray. We can be thwarted by neglect of our developmental dependency needs and be left with a weak ego. A person with a weak ego lacks the self-efficacy to control his drives and lacks the boundaries to say no and to moderate things (such as drugs, food, and sex) that in excess destroy meaningful experience. Nothing is more damaging to ego development than toxic shaming. Every form of abuse causes damaging shame to the developing child's sense of self.